Friday, August 20, 2010

Hello preps.. I got sad news. My dear loving mom got a 2cm lump in her body. She is in pain. She is going to be admitted in the hospital next week. Man, i never been thought this kind of stuff. I almost break down crying when i hear her painful sound then the doctor check her body.. Allah, please make me strong. I need to look after my mother. She had to go through the body check again. My mom is still walking around. She hates to be sick. Of coz my mom is a strong woman but being to strong can get you hurt. Haish, I wish Abg Md Noor is here to help me out. I cant watch her all by myself.. But enough of the bad stuff, I love her so much. I just wish she will shut up about how long she can only live. She doesnt know how much it hurts me.. Yet she can talk like it is nothing at all...

what we could have been, 10:28 PM.

Monday, August 16, 2010

Hi preps..

My eyes are so heavy now just of crying. There is the story.

I came back home all tired and all I could think of is sleep. I bathe then I lied down out in the living room where it is cooling since my mom was sleeping in the room. I almost fell asleep when Mak shout at me asking to pick up the clothes outside that were hanging. It was raining abit. And without a word i went to do the chore. I went to my room to sleep. Yet again I was ALMOST falling asleep when Mak shout my name again. Mom ask me to help with the dishes. Even through how freaking tired i was, i got up.. Then Mom throught i did a rude face to her but I didnt. She start yelling at me saying that I am rude and lazy.. I got soo mad yet I still keep my face shut. (Abd Md. Noor told me the number one rule in our family is EVER TALK BACK TO MOMMY WHEN SHE GET MAD) so i had a hold in my anger. Since i didnt do anything wrong. My tears started pouring. I almost cut myself.. Good thing got alot of people in the house. If not I bet i would be dead by now. After aruging with my mom in tears, she finally realize she did a mistake. And said sorry and hug me and cried abit. I hug her and cried my tears out. She said that I am a good daughter that I do stuff without saying stuff like 'lazy ah' or 'later ah'.. I right away do the chores. But she said if i am tired or anything, tell her dont keep quiet.

But I have this thing that is so called like this..

"A rug that people walk all over on"

I am the type of person who doesnt say anything even through when i disagree or upset or watsoever. I cant change that fact. It is too hard. Aidil told me that I have a damn soft heart and I care more about the other person that myself. I always give in. But wat can I do? I am who I am right? hahaha..

2morrow is my sister Ninee's birthday. Hahaha.. I cant wait to meet her. Today i spent half of my day to just look for a gift for her.. And finally I found wat i want to get for her.. hahhaha.. I hope that she will like it.. It will be from Papi and I.. Hahahaha... Love ya Sister!!

While yet again, I cried into Papi's arms.. Stupid song... 'When I look at you' by Miley.. Made me cried.. wah, today is 'crying day' or wat? hahaha.. Ok.. I got nothing else to updated.. I gtg.. Tata..

what we could have been, 10:28 PM.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Halo people out there!

I have been staying at home this whole freaking week. Now I cant wait to get out from this house. Hahaha. I got nothing to say but I lost 2kg just by fasting for two days sia.. Hahaha.. Ok no more about me.

Why do people say 'back to my old life' after they just broke up? Why cant they say 'starting a new leaf'? I think it is cuz they are not strong enough to move on in life. I feel sorry for those kind of people. They should be strong and move forward out backwards.

Well talking about relationship. I hope my old friend last long with his brand new girlfrend. This time make sure you last with her. Not like one day or two days.. ok? :P

God, I misssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss my papi!! I dont think I can find another guy like him. We started off through a dare and now we are together.. We are like sister and brother, mother and son, and of coz wife and husband.. Sister and brother is when we tease each other nonstop. Mother and son is when I let a shoulder for him to cry on and for him to talk about his problems. Wife and husband is when we get to lovely dovely.. hahaha.. He is my drug!! I can't live without him.

I hope this month can go by fast. I wana go swimming with my new swimming suit.. :( I hope Kak Dewi can enjoy. Or if she cant come.. I bet Ninee and her hubby would love to follow rite? hahaha.. :P Man, my head is dizzy.. Cuz lack of water and food.. I watch dwi eat and drink.. Man, tempting.. hahaha.. But no, have to control.. hahaha.. Well, i gtg.. sleep or something. hahaha.. Have to get my mind off water. I dont care that much of food.. But WATER!!!! My mouth is soo dry!!

Tata my friends!

what we could have been, 4:12 PM.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Happy birthday Singapore!

Today i went to do my hair.. I highlight it red.. Yeah baby! Momma cut her hair short. I met Kak dewi and daniel at whitesand mcd at 2. Papi ran abit late. Poor baby.. We sat there for a while. Dewi and I went to the toilet so I could do her makeup. After that we took the mrt to bugis. We eat and laugh and talk and of coz took pics.. After that we walked to city hall.. Watch the fireworks than went home.. We all was tired.. I had a great day..

Btw Happy Monthsery Papi!!

I love you sooo much!! Muacks!!

what we could have been, 12:31 AM.

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Hello world!

Hahahaha

I said hello!

God, i am bored.. like really bored. Wat to do sia? I wanna go do my hair but my mom said that not today.. Shit sia. then when?

I miss my papi!!!

I miss the BUll!!

I miss a Horse!!

I miss changi!!

Hahahaha...

I miss my frenz!!

I miss Ninee!!

I miss Haikal!!

I miss Daniel!!

I miss Por and Tor!!

hAhahahah..

I miss my daddy!!

I miss my brothers!!

I miss food!!

I miss sleeping!!

I miss everything!!

cuz why? I am bored!! Like duh!!

I hope that on monday I can go out with my frenz.. Daniel is free.. I hope Papi will be free.. :) Papi dont forgot that I wana treat Daniel... hahahaha peace out people!

what we could have been, 2:21 PM.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Today I went out with Aidil, Rizal and his girlfriend. We were going to watch three movies in one day but I and Aidil only watch one movie. We went to play to the time zone. Aidil played the dance game that you dance with only your hands. hahaha. damn funny. Let me just say that i prefer to hang out with Ninee and Haikal. They are much funnier. At least they talk to me. hahaha. I miss Papi. I miss his everything. God, I really miss him so bad. After updating this blog of mine, i am going to call him. Hahaha..

I Gtg. Bye.

what we could have been, 11:03 PM.

Monday, August 2, 2010

Well, my life have been stressful after that day I got into a fight with Papi. (I cant tell).. First Papi, then now my mom. Haish, ever since the fight.. My temper been on the edge.. I can easy become mad. God, I just hope fasting month well come fast. I need it.

Well, Papi and I are ok. But not that good. Last weekend I went to JB with my family. During the time there, I couldnt stop thinking of that happen between Papi and I. When I came back home, I called him and I said sorry for wat I have done. He said that he forgiven me from the start of the fight. I dont know wat to say now. These days I like keeping things to myself. So I better be off.

Well, in the morning Papi said that he was going to take me to skool but then he just woke up at the time he was suppose to meet me. I got piss off. But then I told him to I will go down to Toa Payoh and from there go to my skool. During the ride there, I got very dizzy and felt like vomiting. So, when I got off the bus, Papi and I went to sit at Mcd. I rest my head for awhile. Then ard 9 plus, I got hungry, so Papi and I head out to find food. I ate chicken rice when he ate chicken noodles. After that we head out to the library, Papi went home to check if got people at his house or not. Then we walked to his house, I got lazy and lied down on the sofa. Papi and I got very quiet.... We start talking about our relationship since it been rocky since past few days. I didnt ready listen to him. But he hugged me and ask me to close my eyes and look deeply into my heart. While he was talking, I started weeping. My tears ran down my face like a mrt. I broke down, I cried like a baby. After all the talking, we went to Tamp to walk around. Then, Papi send me home and went to work. I went home. I feel much better now..

Papi, you are the one I love. I do love you with all of my heart. Trust me switheart! Sorri for the angry and yelling. Next time dont get me that mad again. Now you know how to cool me down. :)

Thanks to others who helped us. My sis, haikal and aidil. Sorri for mess we put you through. And thanks to the fuckers who are still talking about us. We are now much more matured than you guys. I now know how much Papi loves me. And i hope that my love for him is the same.

what we could have been, 12:22 PM.